Book Review - The Twelve Little Cakes

This selection was chosen by my book club, and I have been waiting until we met to publicly review it so there wouldn't be any "early reveals." I was also hoping to "borrow" some smarter commentary, but I was too busy eating treats to take notes.

With her engaging style, the author explores the development of human relationships and coming of age under the burdensome and inconsistent rule of Communism. Each chapter centers on a theme that matches a type of cake that is prevalent in her culture (for example, "The swan" for the pivotal point when she decides to be a ballerina and someday dance Swan Lake). A charming memoir by Dominika Dery about growing up in Czechoslovakia during the 1970's and 80's, this is a good summer read.

Audio Book Review - I Was Amelia Earhart

Because I'd rather blog than clean or complete paperwork...

This highly descriptive ("the sky is glorious flesh"?) story is the fantasy account of what happened to Amelia and her navigator when they disappeared off the coast of New Guinea in 1937. I think it was supposed to explore her character in real life and project how she could still be surviving today on a deserted island. However, it was constantly confused between the first and third person tense, so you never know who is really telling the story.

Verdict: weird waste of time.

May 29 - My Peeps

This will probably become a repetitive theme, but it is such a core blessing to me that I can't stop talking about it. I am surrounded by love and support in a way I have always longed for, in true community. It just sucks that it required the most trying circumstances in my life to bring this to reality.

Here are some examples just from yesterday:
- Seth's teacher and school nurse have both offered support through the summer months and with school-based support programs for next year.
- Several of my co-workers have offered to help with household renovations/maintenance.
- My super-busy friend Arin came over and jump-started the "moving-rooms-around-so-mommy-has-personal-space" process.
- My insurance pre-approval process for counseling actually went relatively smoothly, requiring only 2 phone calls to secure coverage over the next 6-8 weeks, without making me feel like a loser.
- My cool friends Ame, Sarah, Kem and Lisa joined me at for laughs and a girls' night out at Hacienda and the Funny Bone.
- Oh, and this is from a few days ago, but Deb got my hair right at last.

Thank you to all who are reading along, praying, and believing in the best for my family and me. You touch my heart and soul.
(I can't believe I'm feeling so mushy; I can't even blame PMS!)

May 28 - Memorial Weekend Review II

The rough parts:

Scott was back in town. I'm struggling through defining workable boundaries between us. He has decided that separation is truly the only option right now. His heart is empty.

This is ever so much more painful than having my breasts amputated and rebuilt! And unfortunately the recovery will probably string on much longer. I'm clinging to God's promises and the support of community, but I still feel shattered beyond repair. The smallest details are life-changing: one toothbrush in the bathroom, no man's shoes by the door, no smiling 10th anniversary photos on the wall, no holiday plans.

We sat down with Seth on Monday and told him what's up. He is devastated. What I appreciate about him is that he has been able to ask me great questions and express his fears since Scott left yesterday. He actually asked for a counselor when he found out I'm working with one.

The other two kids are pretty flexible and oblivious at this point, which is a small relief. This is a lot for anyone to handle, and I'm barely making it, so please pray especially for the kids to not just survive intact but flourish.

May 28 - Memorial Weekend Review I

The great parts:
I love my community. I enjoy the Edwardsburg Memorial Day parade because it is a tribute to personal sacrifices of others to secure a way of life I really appreciate. I like to watch the different businesses and groups in my small town gather together to celebrate. I like to support local efforts and this great country I'm blessed to live in.













On Monday, Naomi turned 4. She is such a sweet and loving girl. She blesses my life with her hugs and smiles and funny, observant commentary. We enjoyed pink bunny cake and a few presents with a small family party, which was just enough. She doesn't feel entitled yet. She doesn't need a Ronald McDonald or Hannah Montana giant birthday bash. Give her some pink cake and a Barbie and she's happy. That is a beautiful thing.

May 25 - Productivity

What's cool about relational strife? Suddenly my body won't sleep. Went to bed at 2:30 AM with Valium and I'm still rarin' to go. It's not even 7am and I have stripped 2 beds, have the laundry going, downloaded photos off the camera, uploaded photos to Facebook, played Owned, had tea and a muffin and I'm off to aerobics...

Update: by 10 am I had completed the aerobics and abdominal workout, done 2 loads of laundry, cleaned out a closet, gotten 2 giant garbage bags of clothes ready to donate, showered, shaved and I'm off to church...

I hope I can make the most of this burst of energy before I hit the wall...

May 24 - Communication Breakdown

I hate my hair. It never does what it's supposed to anyway, so my standard updo has been the modus operandi for the past 5+ years. But I'm particularly annoyed right now.

Over the last three weeks, I've spent a cumulative 9 hours in various cut, color and styling processes, and it's still not right! Which got me to thinking this morning, if I can't even communicate to my stylist what I want my hair to look like (and I know it's possible, I'm not trying for Sarah Jessica Parker or Jennifer Aniston hair), how will I ever communicate the really important stuff?

How will I express to my estranged husband what he means to me and our family so he can believe me and value us? How can I guide my children so they know how precious they are and can figure out up from down? How could I ever communicate to someone how much they matter to God and how cool that is?

Movie Review - once

A movie about an encounter between two talented musicians, I liked it. I thought the story did a great job of portraying the complexities of real people's lives without being hopeless or trite. And the music was hauntingly beautiful and memorable. I was harmonizing along towards the end, but I was alone in the basement, so no one was harmed.

Book Review

he's just not that into you - The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

I think this one had some basic wisdom about guy-think, but I'm a girl, so who knows how applicable this is across the board.

My favorite, not necessarily personally applicable, take-aways include:
- Better than nothing is not good enough for you
- If you don’t know where the relationship is going, it’s ok to pull over and ask.
- Your only responsibility to someone else’s lapse in judgment is to yourself.
- Your lost self-esteem may take longer to find than a new guy, so prioritize accordingly.
- There’s someone out there that does want to have sex with you, hot stuff.
- There’s no excuse for cheating and it gets easier every time. (Cheaters never prosper, because they suck.)
- Let his mother yell at him. You’re too busy.
- You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you (You have to be nice too).

Standard Suggestions:
Don’t go out with a man who hasn’t asked you out first.
Don’t go out with a man who keeps you waiting by the phone.
Don’t date a man who isn’t sure he wants to date you.
Don’t date a man who makes you feel sexually undesirable.
Do not be with a man who’s afraid to talk about your future.
Do not, under any circumstances, spend precious time with a man who has already rejected you.
Do not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

May 20 - Plastic Surgery World May Not All Be Superficial

What's the nicest thing your plastic surgeon can say to you?

"I really don't think you need anything else done."

I had my pre-maternity leave (hers, NOT mine), pre-pre surgery appointment with Dr. Shulman today. She was very kind and encouraging. The scar tissue is evening out well, the "globos" are a good shape and the next surgery should be relatively easy.

Oh, and I'm not allowed to do anything that might involve getting scrapes or cuts - like pulling out the teenage trees in my flower bed or moving heavy wood furniture. She said I'm at high risk for infection, which apparently would bee-line for the implants and wreak all kinds of havoc. Great. And I was planning a big remodel next week. Maybe I'll have to recruit help. (-:

May 19 - So, What's Up?

I have been waiting a few days, fiddling with creating artsy banners (which I need professional help with!) or at least trying to capture a flattering picture of myself (also tricky by myself). I distract myself with these trivialities waiting for "my first big post" to create itself in my head. However, at this rate, it's never going to happen, and I've lost patience with myself. There's no way to write one little update to describe everything that's gone on in the last 3 months.


So I will start small. Or rather, I will start with the most life-changing, faith-wrenching, and challenging detail. In March, Scott (at left) decided to move to Washington state to manage his brother's dental practice. (I was going to hyperlink to the website, but it doesn't really go anywhere.) He left with 2 weeks warning, no childcare arrangements and no guarantees. Oh, and he also decided he doesn't feel like we have any reason, besides the kids, to be married anymore.



We've spent the last three months exploring how really expansive this relational chasm has become. My whole world is upside down. However, I am blessed with the best childcare option possible. God gifted my children and me with Geneva, who comes to the house 3 days a week when I work. She's a cool Grams, brings her funny pug, and loves the kids through all their adjustments.


I'm still in the physical reconstruction process as well, but I'll save that for another day.

May 16 - Maybe I'm Not Done

I wanted to write something profound or artsy to re-introduce myself to blogging, but that was taking too long and getting trapped in my head. So this note is just to say more is to come...