Saturday, December 25, 2010

December 25 - Random Christmas Musings

Merry Christmas All!

We celebrated family Christmas a week early, minus the whole Santa fantasy. Because Santa is pretty accommodating, but really couldn't round up the reindeer in time to make a trip to just our house. I hope the kids understand.

Anyway, here are some of the awesome advantages of that:

-1st dibs on present-opening excitement, before all the other kids get their latest & greatest.

-Somehow, even with having to be ready earlier, it was less stressful. If we needed something last minute, the grocery store lines weren't quite psychotic yet. Everyone's expectations seemed more reasonable. (With the possible exception of Skyler, who had been campaigning for ridiculous present for weeks.)

-We had more snow then. All you weather-haters can shush, because White Christmases are lovely.

- We get to enjoy tapering off Christmas carols, without abruptly launching into Auld Lang Syne & "The Year in Review".

- Dale has given me permission to transition the holiday decorations to "winter lights" & leave them up longer. ;-)

- We got Christmas dinner leftovers for over a week. Yum.

- We get to stay in jammies all day today, eat junk food like caramel chocolate popcorn & nachos, & watch Grey's Anatomy & West Wing re-runs. No agenda, no pressure, no guilt.



I'm campaigning for early Christmas every year now.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

December 15 - Halving Holidays

'Tis the season, so for my mental health I needed to take a moment and acknowledge some of the crummy realities of broken families this time of year. If you're still busy caught up in the magic of it all, feel free to skip this post.

- When parents split, kids get bounced back and forth. We end up competing for time. We have to keep track of who gets which holiday day, and the schedule is a complicated matrix of hours and overnights and who-had-what last year.

- We compete for present pizazz. It ends of being a value comparison in my family. We value time together & experiences, but what kid doesn't want tons of stuff under the tree? Or the latest electronic wonderfulness (which I'm too cheap to buy)?

- We compete for family memories. We no longer share extended family, so all the shared family traditions like celebrating Grandma's birthday and haystacks for Christmas Eve dinner and family from out of town staying all week no longer apply. We try to develop new traditions to replace what seems to be missing. We hope it compensates for the loss.
Through all this, kids get to play the game of loving both families separately, alternating allegiances, when they really long for everyone to be together. I know, we're still in transition and learning in my family. This will seem less painful as the scabs become scars and continue to fade. I just wanted to go on record pointing out that broken families are just that. Broken. And even though people are resilient, and can adjust to lots of yucky situations, this wasn't God's design.
All that being said, we really did have a lovely Christmas celebration with the kids last Sunday. I'm very proud of their positive attitudes and smiles. Aren't they cute?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

December 7 - Snow Day!

Woke up to over a foot of snow covering the world and cancelled plans (school, therefore work). It's like a little gift of breathing room except for the trickiness of patient and co-worker expectations.
Here's what NOT to do on a snow day: try to be productive outside the house. I was able to re-schedule most things, but I had one local guy who needed a quick evaluation, so I tucked the kids in with snacks and thought I'd run over there. Except it's a snow day for a reason.

I eased out of our driveway, but promptly slid off a few miles down the road. Like, totally stuck in a country drive with only a sickly woman and an infant close by. After over an hour of shoveling, hacking at ice, rocking back & forth in the van, shoveling more, the woman called her boyfriend who sent a guy with a strap & a truck. It still took 20 minutes of doe-si-doe with the pick-up, but whew! We made it out.

My charming husband called about then to tell me the roads didn't seem too bad this morning. Right. Unless, of course, you have to stop. Or turn around. Or pass someone. Other than that you're good to go!

So rather than blaspheming the beauty of a snow day, I'm repenting and tucking in for the day. Here's a better plan:
Please excuse me, now I need to go make hot chocolate...

December 6 - The Prevention Plan

'Tis the season for open enrollment, for examining your benefits and making adjustments to 401K contributions and insurance premiums. Technically that was last month for me, but I'm just now getting around to writing about it.

I'm thankful for an employer that provides many great benefits, and has a whole team dedicated to finding good deals for the members. Really, in today's world, I'm lucky to have health insurance that doesn't cost me my firstborn child.


So I'm grateful. But also leery. In addition to a significant increase in premium costs this year, our plan is requiring a Health Screening self-assessment and mandatory blood tests. As a health care provider and proponent for preventive maintenance, I totally get this. What a great way to help people understand their risks and coach life changes that will save valuable time and money and improve quality of life. Right?
However, as an independent-minded individual who hates being micro-managed, this grates on me. I'm responsible about my regular check-ups, and I'm pretty sure the whole process will just make me feel guilty for eating stuff I shouldn't and not exercising enough. Duh.


Then there's the subtle sense of impending doom, like someone is going to make us all exercise 30 minutes a day or they won't pay for Pap smears and flu shots anymore. Oh I know, they promise that's not the intent, but as health costs rise and people keep getting sick, all manner of cost management measures start. When we move from rewards for healthy choices to mandatory blood tests, I feel the stage being set for all kinds of elitist or exclusionary policies. Regardless of what the current administration is promising.

God forbid if you're genetically pre-disposed to cancer!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

December 1 - Advent & Seasons

Tree's up, house is decorated, cookies in progress, 1/2 the presents wrapped, practicing carols on the piano, and it's only the 1st of December. I'm ahead of the holiday season game for once, and it feels great!
Typically I'm a hum-buggy kind of girl. I'm a cheap-skate, and the commercialism is cuckoo. I want to give, give, give but really I'm a save, save, saver. I love to volunteer, but the perceived obligations (food banks, soup kitchens, adopt-a-family, snowflakes for seniors, perks for the garbage guy, the mail lady, the bus drivers, the teachers, the co-workers, the bosses) overwhelm me. I worry about everyone's expectations, and get my own expectations all twisted up in the mean time. Ick.

Somehow, this month's positivity is actually winning over all of that. I know, it's early. But today I read this insightful and moving post by Rob Bell (via my friend, Tim Burkey). He talks about how the church sets aside seasons for breaking up our tendancy toward monotony or being overwhelmed, to focus our attention and hearts.

The life of the spirit is a dynamic reality, taking us through a myriad of emotions, experiences and states of being. What the church calendar does is create space for Jesus to meet us in the full range of human experience, for God to speak to us across the spectrum, in the good and the bad, in the joy and in the tears.

And Advent, the season leading up to celebrating Christ's birth, is about expectation and deep longing for what's to come. Because something is missing in this world. Something isn't right. Advent confronts our cynicism about getting our hopes up, our chronic expectation of betrayal, and whispers, A better day is coming...

So, while part of me suspects I'm ahead of the game because I have to split holiday time with ex's and celebrate whenever we can, I find I'm a little hopeful in my heart. Because I heard a soft promise that what is "not yet" will be worth it.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

November 26 - Heard Around the House

Skyler: We need to give Jasper a bath. (I re-named the dog.)

Me: Yeah, but I really don't like wet-dog smell, so I don't wanna.

Skyler: Well, he'll just smell like Seth does.

Ha! :-)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

November 24 - Looking Ahead

Last night was busy on all fronts. Dale took Skyler to Cub Scouts, and I took the other two for some non-crowded, pre-Black-Friday-but-the-discounts-still-apply mall shopping. While we were still out sniffing new computer smell (we have an Apple Store now!), Dale came home. I'm the one lucky enough to park in the garage, so he always has to get out and work the keypad. In the midst of that, a van pulled into the drive and a young man hopped out, hocking "The Ultimate Carpet Cleaner".

It was 8:45PM, and very dark. He said something along the lines of, "We can knock till 9, and if I can just get in to look at your carpet this could change your life." Funny how experience makes what would have once been annoying feel downright threatening. Dale promptly informed him this was inappropriate and asked him to leave.

I'm pretty sure all his hackles were up, because he got rather tense just relating the story when we returned home. Which made me mentally flash forward about 30 years. Here's what I'm picturing: two old people in rocking chairs on the porch, loaded shotguns on our laps, keeping watch with scowling faces. In a gravelly, Clint Eastwood voice, "Dang people - get off my land!"

If this happens to me, please intervene! Seriously, how hard can it be to disarm a 70 year old?!

Friday, November 19, 2010

November 18 - Hard

Last night we had the pleasure of flying through 3 parent teacher conferences for 3 pretty cool kids. I am grateful for strong schools, caring teachers, & kids who aren't too terribly difficult to educate. Looks like our biggest academic struggle is a little organization to bring the B's up to A's. Plus the new homework philosophy when teachers noticed that masses of rote homework weren't effective for learning had me doing a little happy dance in the 3rd grade hallway.

All that is really great. We are blessed. What made last night hard was the anticipation of spending 2 hours zipping between 3 different school buildings with hungry kids & putting on a happy face for everyone - with both my 1st & 2nd husbands. Awk. Ward.

I have not mastered this co-parenting cr**, I mean "important life skill", yet. First time I've been seriously tempted to take Xanax since I had to spend 4th of July with Scott's whole family a few months after he left. (My doctor prescribed it specifically for that situation at the time.) Yuck.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

November 10 - Still Spooked

Last Wednesday, after volunteering in Skyler's classroom & treating a couple patients in town, I stopped home to use the bathroom between patients. And walked in to a very scary disaster. Every door was open: cupboards, drawers, basement, front door, back door. Every light was on. I thought, "Who had a chance to come home this morning & why on earth would they leave everything open?!" Then, "Oh crap!!!" I grabbed the dog, the phone & ran!

The last week has been a whirlwind of already scheduled really important stuff like Skyler's 8th birthday and the AND conference and my dad visiting from Delaware. Plus hours and hours of clean up, financial and identity protection, police follow up. Ugh! My fantastic husband actually describes the first impact perfectly here.

We're still kinda freaked out. We lost a lot of "just stuff", like computers and cameras, and some irreplaceables, like all the digital photos and journaling from the last 2 years. Painful.

But certainly not the end of the world. Here's my take-away: security is an illusion. All the "stuff", even our family members and pets, is God's anyway. While it is smart to steward well the blessings we're given, ultimately we don't control them. This week I'm working on surrendering with grace. It's not my favorite. I'm not good at it. But I am God's child and I believe in His plan.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

November 2 - Random Personal Thoughts

I found myself trying to explain The Eagles' Hotel California to the kids this evening. Turns out that despite an entire Week of Prayer devoted to exploring the evils of this specific song, I still don't get it. Hunh.

I voted today, in an old brick building in the middle of a cow field. Midterm elections aren't nearly as exciting (expensive?) as the presidential ones. I'm pretty sure politicians don't intend to be evil, and they try their best, but it seems pretty difficult to trust anyone these days. I always feel like I'm missing part of the story. Still, if we don't exercise our rights, one day we might lose them. Power to the people and all.

I've been sick for about a month. Yuck. My doctor is on maternity leave after having twins (awww), and the practice referred me to MedPoint. Waited over 2 hours and the official 2 minute diagnosis: bronchitis. Finished second round of antibiotics today, still coughing up blood. Not. Awesome.


Sunday, October 31, 2010

October 31 - Struggling with Sabbath - Part 3

After prayer, weighing our priorities and promises, we decided to start a family Sabbath. Here's what that means to me:
A 24 hour period in which

- we focus on God first, family second, friends & community third

- we avoid all the regular household chores that distract us (but still pick up after ourselves & eat)

- we avoid screen time (no computers or TV, limited social media)

- we try to spend time together creatively, with limited expenditures

- we plan ahead so the home maintenance, meal prep, bills & phone calls aren't hanging overhead


And then. We just. "Be".

For a little while.


Right. Then college football season launched. Maybe next month...

Monday, October 25, 2010

October 25 - Cuteness Responsibilities


Introducing: the newest family member! Patches Murphy Shafer

Because apparently 4 kids, a husband, a house with 3 acres, 2 jobs, 2 volunteer roles & 2 turtles left me entirely too much spare time! (grin)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

October 19 - Cub Scout Family Camp

Skyler joined cub scouts! He's in 3rd grade, so he's a Bear Cub. Aww. Last weekend was the Fall Family campout, & Dale & I got to go along.

Frosty noses, yellow leaves, pumpkin carving, hikes, cooking over the fire, dump cake, camp songs ("Here we sit like birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness...") & tug of war against the bigger Boy Scouts (we won 9 out of 10 rounds!).

Skyler said best of all was the Fire Bowl Saturday night. With the magically lit jack o'lantern way, & many silly songs & skits, great leadership & lots of laughs.

I love that through this opportunity he has a group of community leader men as mentors, who model respect, preparation, kindness, honesty, reverence & about 8 other key points (I don't have to memorize 'cause I'm just the mom). We are so blessed!

Monday, October 18, 2010

October 18 - Struggling with Sabbath - Part 2

I was raised Seventh-day Adventist, & my father worked for the church most of my life. The Saturday Sabbath is one of their keystones, so I have some experience with the conservative version: sundown Fri to sundown Sat, no money exchanges hands, no secular entertainment (TV, music, games), no homework or chores. As a child, this was an annoyance at best. Kinda dorky to rename all the board games "Egypt to Canaan".

Then I went away to high school. While some of the restrictions were still pesky, I found a whole new level of peace in the mandatory day off. It was a spiritual discovery time of life, along with all the fun hormonal growth.
Then I married a disenchanted Adventist missionary kid. Getting caught up in the legalism & disappointments in fellow Christians, our family shifted away from Sabbath practice. It felt too "because I said so" & lost all meaning of reconnecting with God & family.

Fast forward through 15 years of "just life" - & I long for the peace & connection again. I find some semblance of guidelines & routines comforting. Perhaps in this new season, some of the centuries-old tradition makes more sense to me. Now, to figure out the logistics...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

October 13 - Feeding Hungry Peeps

After a weird summer of being off kilter, with the kids gone & new family responsibilities & changing work schedules, I am so glad to be back in the swing of things. As we get our groove back, we're getting back to activities that make my heart happy.

Saturday we helped out at Feed the Children in Elkhart. As a group, we packed over 2000 boxes of food & personal care stuff. All 4 kids participated better than ever before, with 2 solid hours of sorting, packing & box crushing. And they were pretty smiley the whole time!

Monday, October 11, 2010

October 8 - Friday Happy Dance Party

Today was Seth's first ever official middle school dance party. I was actually shocked he was even interested in going, let alone willing to spend his own allowance to participate. We had to make an emergency Walmart run the night before to buy neon puffy paint markers & craft his own unique NEON dance shirt. Add glow stick neck & arm bands & Ta-dah! Not too bad, if I do say so myself. ;-)
I picked him up 2 hours later, all sweaty & smiling. Apparently a grand time was had by all. So to continue the theme, Dale hooked us up with a playlist, and we gathered the family around the campfire and danced the night away. Nothing like teaching 4 kids the Cupid Shuffle under the stars. Ah, memories!

Hope you all had great weekends too!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

October 7 - Pink Ladies Club

Dale & I attended the 3rd Annual Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast cancer survivors' luncheon today in Mishawaka. It was a lovely affair, with festive flowers & pink balloons & loads of pretty door prizes. One of the local oncologists spoke briefly about his professional motivation. Several local leaders stated their support, and a sanguine survivor shared her moving & amusing tale.
So it was nice & inspirational & stuff but I find myself wondering why being there made me feel completely off kilter. In fairness, the night before D & I were out till 3AM (Muse is AMAZING!) & my work morning didn't go as smoothly as planned. Still, I sat at the edge of a crowd of women & family members who have made it through a journey similar to mine, & I felt completely out of place.
I don't think I'm part of the club. My breast cancer experience seems so minimal compared to other stories. I don't feel like "a survivor". Ladies cheer for each other and speak of the sisterhood we share, the immediate bond. I figure I'm just broken because I don't get it. Yes, I understand all the lingo. Yes, I'm interested in their stories. Yes, I can discuss surgery options and side effects. Yes, I've known several who have fought the good fight but still passed on.

But instead of feeling connected, I just get grumpy & sad. Even though pink is one of my favorite colors!

Monday, October 4, 2010

October 4 - Struggling with Sabbath - Part 1

Recently I finished AJ Jacobs' The Year of Living Biblically audiobook, and surprisingly it exceeded expectations on multiple levels. It was written by a witty Jewish agnostic journalist, in his quest to follow the Bible as literally as possible for an entire year. As in, not wearing clothing of mixed fibers (specifically wool & linen), being fruitful & multiplying (IVF justified), stoning adulterers (pebbles count).

"The resulting year was fascinating, entertaining and informative. It was equal parts irreverent and reverent. It was filled with surprising insights almost every day. (I know it’s not biblical to boast, so apologies for that)."

Through his experience, in conjunction with friend conversation & other reading, I have become more aware of spiritual disciplines and getting back in the flow with spiritual living. One place I felt would be good to start was reclaiming Sabbath in my family. Yeah, 'cause I didn't want it to be too easy apparently. Lots to unpack here, so I will separate this into a few postings for a)ease of reading and b) I might actually publish something.

So, the Sabbath is God's law, like one of the Big 10 before you even get to not killing off your neighbor and stuff. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. You have 6 days each week for your ordinary work, but the 7th day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. Exodus 20:8-10

Right. Anyone else notice the possibility for wide open interpretation? What does holy mean these days? Is that a Saturday, or is Tuesday ok? What if running a 5K or watching football is restful to me? Doesn't using electricity mean I'm making someone work & robbing them of the Sabbath experience? Does it count if I spend 1/7 of each day all week long resting & reconnecting with God?

My limited, legalistic human mind needs some boundaries. Not because I'm trying to tick off a checklist or earn my way to holiness, but because I want to be intentional. And I want to notice a difference in my real life. Now what?

Monday, September 27, 2010

September 27 - I think I used to be smarter

Every day, when I'm running around, making lists, taking care of things, I have a random thought that seems bloggable. I think, "This topic is kinda deep, kinda funny, I'm sure it deserves exploration." Then I get back to feeding the masses, or scheduling something, or picking up after someone, and the thought is GONE. Whoosh. Right out of my head.
Apparently, nothing worth sharing happens here any more. Lame.

I miss being witty and insightful and having small blocks of time to organize my thoughts. Oh well. Maybe next month.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

September 12 - So Pretty


A labor of love. A work of art. A heritage of yumminess.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

September 7 - Back to School!

Another year, more milestones...

Seth is charging off to 6th grade, hitting the middle school big leagues. He had his locker combo memorized after 1 try, and oozes "I-couldn't-care-less" attitude. Here he is waiting for the bus (which never came, grr) before even a hint of dawn.

Skyler is ready to dominate 3rd grade. He's in a looping classroom with the same teacher & kids from last year, in a school for 2nd & 3rd graders only. He's all smiles and no fear.

Naomi was sick with worry about mean kids, but was encouraged to learn all mean kids have moved to Texas, or some similar far-away place. She is loving 1st grade and her nice new teacher already.

Now I just have about 20 more permission slips and procedure notices and homework policies to sign. And possibly 2 more trips to the bus garage to get the route and times straigtened out (No morning pickup for any kids, 1.5 hrs for Skyler & Naomi to get home yesterday. Sigh.) I always forget how much work back-to-school actually is for Mama.

But check out the beautiful sendoff God gave us to start the new school year!

Monday, August 30, 2010

August 30 - What Did You Do Today?

The coolest thing I did today:

I am SO BLESSED to have time to play. Any 25 brand new Play-Doh containers should make anyone happy!

Friday, August 27, 2010

August 25 - A Day in the Life

I'm recording this for the absurd posterity of it all, and out of pure gratefulness for my blessed life!

6am - get up & make Dale's lunch & morning coffee, lots of kisses
6:45am - go back to my snuggly bed!
7:15am - cuddle Naomi in my bed & read our favorite Shel Silverstein poems
7:45am - make chocolate chip pancakes with Naomi's chip placement assistance
7:55am - make gluten-free cottage cheese pancakes for me
8:30am - crush turtle pellet food and sprinkle liberally for Skyler's silver dollar-sized pets
8:45am - clean the kitchen, throw in a load of laundry, write a blogpost, sip chai
9:05am - yell at Seth to clean up his bloody nose & stop dripping everywhere
9:08am - physically separate the children to take care of Skyler's bloody lip
9:20am - banish 3 children to different corners, which lasts about a minute
9:24am - call technical support to update my work password & account to match my not-so-new-anymore name
9:30am - clean out the last 2 1/2 years of email in my work inbox (don't think I'll be much help now in locating the missing equipment from 12 south from 2008!)
9:55am - jog 4 miles while Skler rides his bike alongside
10:45am -practice push-ups and crunches with Naomi
10:50am - waste 15 minutes trying to remove the toenail polish from my fabulous pedicure a month ago in Ocean Beach, then decide I'll just have to outgrow it
11:05am - shower.... ahhh!
11:35am - pay medical bills by phone
12:00pm - teach Skyler to whittle sticks into sharp pointy spears (he BEGGED all morning) with my super-cool Swiss Army knife engraved with my name in Switzerland
12:15pm - review knife safety tips with all the kids after I unearth Seth from the basement
12:30pm - make chicken salad sandwiches for lunch, except for Naomi who currently will only eat jelly and butter sandwiches
12:55pm - park kids in front of a movie with their lunch so I can run out & see a patient in town
1:15pm - play cheerleader for a decrepit old lady with behavioral issues "Let's go outside & try to stand up today!"
2:00pm - drive to Niles for a bank deposit
2:05pm - swing by Walmart to pick up water softener salt
2:15pm - run into the library to return books & pick up On the Corner of Bitter & Sweet for book club next month
2:30pm - pull into the driveway, which is now covered with sticks & berries & bikes
2:32pm - hug all 3 kids
2:35pm - hang the wet laundry out on the patio furniture
2:50pm - load the dishwasher, make sure all the bathrooms have toilet paper
3:00pm - eat ice cream on the couch
3:02pm - read stories with all 3 kids on the couch
3:28pm - check out Skyler's growing collection of spears while listening to Vampirates audio book
3:35pm - make Jello
4:00pm - throbbing headache, try to lie down, kids are playing some sort of yelling, barking, running game
4:10pm - make graham crackers & frosting & milk snack
4:15pm - try to start my book club book
4:20pm - take more migraine medicine
4:25pm - set up a tent in the yard, with Naomi & Skyler "helping"
4:55pm - surrender to a dark room with quiet music in a horizontal position
5:00pm - try not to throw up
5:05pm - help Seth find his back pack, & in turn he gets me a cold wash cloth for my head (with coaching)
5:15pm - sleep???
5:40pm - respond to texts from several friends, get the mail
6:00pm - check on the kids playing in the tent
6:03pm - start supper: mac & cheese & broccoli
6:30pm - supper together at the table (Dale is out with Paige tonight), chattering about best friends and favorite books and vacation spots

And so it goes...

Skyler: "Today was a pretty great day!" :-)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

August 24 - So Far So Good

After some scheduling snafus related to my loss of phone/calendar/contacts a few months back, I finally got in to see Dr. Method for the ovarian cancer update. (yuck)

Anticipation is the worst part. I've pretty much contemplated all possible ways to get sick and die with this stuff. Anyway, last week I had the joy of a transvaginal ultrasound. "Don't worry, it doesn't go in ALL the way," the friendly technician assured me. Great. My left ovary was being elusive, playing peek-a-boo behind some colon or something. At least that means there's no grapefruit-sized tumor hidden in there, even if it feels like it sometimes.

Yesterday was the blood test for the CA-125 marker. I got to check out the new Michiana Hematology & Oncology complex, which is pretty in hip olive colors and etched glass. However, I don't think they thought through the fact that nearly everyone going there is likely to be ill. There are yards and yards of pavement to cross to get to the staggered maze-like entryway. None of the signage is posted yet, so you kinda have to guess which bathroom is for women or which direction to go to find the doctor. Fortunately, they've staffed the building with friendly white-haired ladies to point and smile apologetically.

Back today for THE RESULTS.

Aaaaand, it's all good! Exam & test results all normal. They have a new expensive screening test option, but for now the doc thinks we're good with 6 month monitoring for another year or two. Yippee! Now I can get back to worrying about normal stuff, like managing sibling rivalry and homework.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

August 17 - BCYF!

YAY! It's that time of year again. The Berrien County Youth Fair is a grand family tradition. I think I've spent at least a day there most summers for the past 30 years. (Weird since I'm only 29 - wink wink - right?) From entering my own crafts and baked goods, to scoping out cute boys, to pushing strollers and wiping cotton candy fingers, to now whooping and squealing with my kids and new husband on the Fire Ball and ferris wheel.

We sweated through the Continental Circus, which was pleasantly clown-free and featured 10 tigers and a lion. Check out the 4th generation 11 y/o Wallenda girl, on top of the high wire grandstand - NO NET! That may be the most nervous I've ever been for a performer!
We love it all! We watched a baby goat birth. We voted for our favorite Lego display and rabbit breed. We wolfed down korn dogs and pizza and elephant ears. We maximized our ride wristbands. For a solid 12 hours. And can't wait for next year!

August 18 - Endless Chores


I absolutely heart weekends home with the family, but cooking 8 full meals in a row is exhausting! Whew. We've been running the dishwasher twice a day. Seth, who has assumed the emptying chore, asked me Monday, "when does it ever stop?!" Exactly, kid. Exactly. Maybe going back to school in a few weeks won't be so bad. Sometimes going to work feels like a break!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

August 11 - Environmentalists




OK, maybe we don't appropriately recycle every possible item or weave our own clothing from native fibers, but we're definitely tree huggers in this family!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

July 25 - The Importance of Information

We went to the San Diego Wild Animal Park with the family today. It's a gorgeous park full of giraffes and antelope, rhinos and lions, like a Cliff-notes safari tucked into the southern California mountains.

First on the agenda, we made a bee line to the Lorikeet enclosure, where you can feed colorful parrot-like birds breakfast from little cups in your hand. My sister loves this adventure so much we used to call them Lara-keets. Excitement was high!

Unfortunately, I failed to clue the kids, who had never been there, into what exactly to expect. So when the zookeeper handed Naomi a tiny cup of nectar, she automatically sipped it, which made the crowd around her giggle, instantly embarrassing her. No one had told her it was for the birds. No one had mentioned that we were going into big cage full of bright squaky things that would land on you all at once with their soft claws and curious beaks. Understandably, she panicked, and Skyler promptly refused to participate. It took some confusion and coaxing to bring them through the enclosure.

In hindsight, there were about 10 ways I could have made that a more rewarding memory. I could have made sure the kids were well fed before we arrived instead of just packing snacks. I should have assigned an adult to each kid. I should have mentioned some of the animals they would see and promoted the interactive experience. I might have informed them specifically that Lorikeets are friendly parrot-like birds that will perch on your hands and shoulders and head looking for food. Oh well.

The good news is that everyone survived, and Naomi can tell the story now and giggle about it. Plus she was the only one who got to taste the special formula bird food, just like the zoo keeper. She says it's kinda sweet, like soy milk.

Monday, July 26, 2010

July 23 - Vacation


We are on our way to California again, but this will be Dale's first major cross country trip West. We're going sightseeing, family visiting, getting to see the kids a couple days = good stuff. Theoretically this is a honeymoon, but I'm not sure how that's all going to work out since we're staying with family the whole time! :-p




Wednesday, July 14, 2010

July 14 - Like There's a Script

"I just don't feel like I love you." "I don't want to be tied down right now." "I'm dealing with issues from my childhood (it's not you, it's me)." "We've grown apart." "There's no one else, I just need to figure myself out."


Ugh! Who wrote these crappy cliche lines anyway? And WHY do they continually play out all around me, like some sort of bad form cult-classic movie? Whatever happened to working through the tough stuff IN relationship? Where are the grown-ups anymore?


Watching marriages all around me dissolve into tears & hurtful words & custody battles is simply awful. I believe in marriage, for life. I want to hold out hope. I want someone to show me how that works. Instead, over and over, I learn of friends and associates hitting rough patches and I fear what will happen next. I want to be proven wrong. I want a couple to fight and win, together.

Who keeps handing out the scripts?!? How can we STOP this epidemic?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

July - The List

Made a Summer Fun 2010 To Do list with the kids. Had to edit out anything that takes place in July or early August, so the Renaissance Fair, blueberry picking, and fireworks won't be enjoyed together this year.It's still a pretty good list though:

- grow watermelons
- go to the beach
- swimming pool
- go on a nature walk
- go to a library program
- crafts
- go to the zoo
- sleep in a tent
- go to a museum
- play mini-golf
- rock hunting
- read books
- play games
- write a story
- ride bikes (Naomi learn to ride a 2 wheeler)
- find an arrowhead
- go to the fair
- go to a baseball game
- pick wild flowers
We got about half the list "experienced" before the kids left, and I'm optimistic on full completion. Except for that first item Seth randomly created, since we didn't even plant watermelons. Uhhh...
So what fun stuff is on your list?

Monday, July 5, 2010

July 5 - Amputation

I would rather fight off cancer 1000 times if it meant I didn't have to watch another woman drive off with my old life, with my kids.

The children officially started summer with their dad on Thursday, but today they are actually leaving the state for the next 4 1/2 weeks. They swung by on the way out of town to pick up Seth's forgotten DS (vital, I know). All loaded up, tucked in for a family road trip in the new SUV, with their new blond mommy.

It's like they drove off with one of my limbs (accidentally) shut in the door.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

June 30 - Why Fight

Just to be clear, I understand a bit of why people fight cancer. I get that the struggle can be worth it.

For the sound of a belly laugh from a child you love.
For the beauty of a pastel sunset over the lake.
For the soft kiss of your lover on your lips.
For the rich taste of freshly ground coffee or smooth dark chocolate.
For the fragrance of your favorite flower.
For the embrace of a tried and true friend.
For the eye-crinkling smile of a stranger.
For the challenge of learning something new.
For the satisfaction of vanquishing monsters.

Even if it's just for one more day.


Monday, June 28, 2010

June 28 - I Hate Cancer

I suppose it's an occupational hazard since I work with a lot of sick people nearing the end of life. My role is to assist and educate in mobility safety and function. I love my job because it makes a difference and truly helps people. But some days the outlook seems so bleak. I see people fighting for their lives, trying to be optimistic, and I know in my heart they're on their way out of this world. I know that they'll go through days, weeks, months of scans and surgical recovery and painful treatments and debilitating nausea and neuropathy, often just to buy a little more time here. I am sympathetic.

Last week I worked with 3 hospice cancer patients, but the one that threw me over the edge was a lady I treated 2 years ago. After going through all the icky cancer stuff back then, essentially on her own because she has no support system, she's back. The cancer they thought was eliminated has metasticized. She's now recovering from the abdominal surgery my doctors are recommending I undergo (sooner rather than later). They're not sure what will be next for her. I assessed her abdominal strength, incision healing, scar mobility and postural stability appropriately, but all I could think about was IDon'tWantToDoThis. Again.

Sometimes empathy is harder than sympathy.


I. Hate. Cancer.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

June 12 - Party Time!


Celebrated Summer Vacation Launch & Naomi's 6th Birthday with a Gang

It got kinda messy with a visiting snake, teasing older siblings faking raccoon murder, cake everywhere & water balloons. But I guess that's what makes things memorable, right?