December 28 - Just freaky

I saw the wound care therapist and Dr. Shulman again yesterday. The left (cancer) side is closing up, although there are two small spots that look tenuous. I was pleased to see the general roundness of the central scar; I bet she can make that into a resonably normal areola shape.

The right (supposedly healthy) side is not cooperating. Actually, it's smaller than last week and the skin around the edges doesn't look so much like you can just wipe it off. However, it's still bleeding a fair bit, and I have to change the dressing about every other day.

I reported how I found a dent I could fit my pinkie into in the left breast over the weekend. I can still feel it, but it's not so externally noticeable now. I was freaking out when I found it, so I had Scott look at it. I thought I had popped something and it was leaking all the fluid out. He was wonderfully reassuring for about five minutes before he had to sit with his head between his knees and try not to hyperventilate or pass out.

Anyway, the doctor says it's just the scar tissue binding down on the tissue expander inside. She thinks there will be a lot more scarring on the inside (and obviously outside) because of the wound healing delay. She's hopeful this is temporary, but has no idea how long "temporary" is at this point.

Now I will go practice my own deep breathing and try not to think about foreign objects under the skin and bloody wounds.

December 25 - Christmas Eve report

Christmas Eve was a little crazy - I had to run all over 3 cities to see all my patients for work and squeeze the wound care center into the middle of the morning. No big changes on that front. Still open, still bleeding, blah, blah, blah. I was trying to finish up everything before the family trooped back downtown for the Christmas Eve Service at church. That was incredible.

By the end of that (only 4:30PM!) the kids were basketcases. Seth even took a nap. We squeezed in the typical one-present opening and fast food and the evening was over early - like the kids were all asleep by 7PM. Probably because they all got up at 4AM.

Good thing... I'm TIRED too...

December 20 - What's another word for...

I'm so SICK of wounds!

CAUTION: content may be graphic if you're the queasy type.

So, since Thanksgiving, when the surgery sites were practically closed, they have opened and scaled over and opened again so many times I'm starting to doubt my body's ability to make skin. Last week I saw another wound specialist, who removed all the dead epithelium (making the sites even larger appearing). She added a silver dressing again to "decrease the bioburden" (i.e. kill any lingering germs).

However, they're still bloody masses on the front of my chest. The depth to the wound bed filled in and granulated nicely, but the skin just can't seem to survive over the top of it. Skin is kind of important. Especially if you'd like to hold the blood in rather than drip all over. Then there's the whole cosmetic issue...

Today the doctor came down to the wound clinic appointment. Her first reaction was, "Hey, they look better... hang in there." Then I described what had been happening in the last three weeks. "Oh... well something isn't right."

After consulting the team (me, Dr. Shulman, my regular therapist Christine, and another co-worker whose name I can't spell...), she prescribed two weeks of oral antibiotic. There's no obvious infection, but at this point "it can't hurt." Christine also changed the dressing type and increased the wound clinic frequency to 2xwk.

Perfect. Right before Christmas. Good thing I'm not going anywhere.

I see Dr. Shulman again right after Christmas... I'll keep you posted.

December 8 - Wound clinic update

From Thursday's visit. Picture not to scale. Yes, they're star and moon shaped. Cool, huh?

December 3 - Control Freak

Last week I got full medical release to go back to work. Yea! As in my real job helping homebound patients move better, not tour-guiding co-workers through the community or shuffling papers in the office. I guess I'm pretty independent; I don't like having a babysitter or having to be constantly accountable for my time on the job. I think I'm pretty efficient and responsible, and it feels so belittling to have to justify every minute of the day.

Dr. Shulman put it in a nice way: "I've never had a patient do so much for her own care." Yep, that's me. I pretty much fill out all the medical release stuff and direct the wound care and medication schedule on my own, with her for back-up of course.

This is probably one of my prominent weaknesses - my way of grasping for control of my situation (work, kids, schedules, husband, CANCER, home and community responsibilities). At least I'm beginning to recognize my freakish tendancy.

Maybe it's time to schedule those free massages at the Breast Care Center and chill out a little! As soon as I get the medical bill spreadsheet updated, school snacks packed, weekly menus planned, clean up the kitchen, send out Christmas cards, and complete all the requisite holiday decorating, cookie baking, shopping... Ha! I'll add it to my "to do" list.

December 2 - Reminder

Just a quick thought now that the holiday shopping season is in full swing and philanthropy is fashionable. Remember you can help donate free mammograms by clicking on the The Breast Cancer Site. They'll record your visit once each day and they track the number of mammograms provided to underprivileged women daily.

Happy December!