December 3 - Control Freak

Last week I got full medical release to go back to work. Yea! As in my real job helping homebound patients move better, not tour-guiding co-workers through the community or shuffling papers in the office. I guess I'm pretty independent; I don't like having a babysitter or having to be constantly accountable for my time on the job. I think I'm pretty efficient and responsible, and it feels so belittling to have to justify every minute of the day.

Dr. Shulman put it in a nice way: "I've never had a patient do so much for her own care." Yep, that's me. I pretty much fill out all the medical release stuff and direct the wound care and medication schedule on my own, with her for back-up of course.

This is probably one of my prominent weaknesses - my way of grasping for control of my situation (work, kids, schedules, husband, CANCER, home and community responsibilities). At least I'm beginning to recognize my freakish tendancy.

Maybe it's time to schedule those free massages at the Breast Care Center and chill out a little! As soon as I get the medical bill spreadsheet updated, school snacks packed, weekly menus planned, clean up the kitchen, send out Christmas cards, and complete all the requisite holiday decorating, cookie baking, shopping... Ha! I'll add it to my "to do" list.