February 28 - Performances

The last month has been packed with school-related evening events. Since we aren't really a sporty family, this is unusual. However, I'm thankful to be in a school system that considers music and public events of mainstream importance and not just fringe extras. Skyler had a musical program with the 2nd graders where he got to dress up as a farmer and fight off the evil "weeds" from another class. He also got to present his writing about what makes a good leader to honor the school board last month.
Seth had a fun evening of dancing and singing to rock 'n roll classics with the 5th grade class, and was proud to actually participate in the fancy footwork for the first time. This past week was his school's Fine Arts night, featuring writing workshop books, dioramas and art work throughout the school building. It was also his trombone debut with the first band concert. He even performed a solo version of Hot Cross Buns.

Naomi's kindergarten play is coming up in a couple weeks and she's already prancing around and singing. Pretty cool stuff.

February 26 - Beyond I Do

I don't think anyone would argue that marriage is tough. Seems like common knowledge that relationships take work. What is not so commonly known is exactly "how" or "what" to do and maybe even more important, "why bother".

Obviously I haven't figured out the magic formula, but at least I'm open to learning more. So Dale and I have been reading and counseling together. A couple weeks ago we finished Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts - Nine Questions to Ask Before (& After) You Marry which was full of great talking points like choosing happiness and blending families, as well as strategies for success. Last weekend we wrapped up what has been a tough but brilliant session with Ted Bryant. With his wife, Angie, he leads the Beyond I Do marriage enrichment class at our church. The exercises we worked through together will be invaluable in helping us plan for life together. In fact, I think any committed couple could really benefit from the class and would highly recommend it! (The next one is Saturday, March 6.)

I'm so blessed to have a strong man who is up to the challenge of making marriage great - for life. We're looking forward to it!

February 15 - Ooo-Ooo-Ooo-phorectomy

Dale & I met a new cancer doc (gynecological oncologist - whatever) last Friday. Yuck. Let me just start by saying nothing compares to being stripped below the waist and having a stranger tickle your ovaries in front of your fiance. Mor-ti-fy-ing.

Anyway, here's the scoop: I'm not imminently dying. Everything looks ok today. However, there's probably a greater than 1 in 5 chance I'll develop ovarian cancer sometime in the next 30 years. Therefore both doctors recommend at minimum ovary removal, and really suggest complete internal girl-part-ectomy. Sooner rather than later. I'm already in the window of risk based on family history.

The good part? We know now and that cancer is preventable with surgery. The sucky part? Aside from annoying costs and time off work and surgery complications, this is life-changing. Mayo Clinic has a good summary here. Basically, losing hormones leads to premature bone loss which accelerates over time, increased heart disease and dementia risk, insomnia, hot flashes and all kinds of sexual changes. Ugh.

Did I mention I'm getting married next month?! So I've apologized like 100x and recommended he run for the hills, but apparently I'm not scary enough. (insert evil laugh) For now we have follow up screening in 6 months and will make a decision on the next step then. What do you do when there is no "right" answer?

February 6.5 - On a Much Brighter Note

I'm getting married!!! Like in less than 6 weeks. To Dale Shafer, a most wonderful, God-loving, talented, smart, funny, incredible man. I am truly blessed.

February 6 - Oncologists Scare Me

Not in a big hairy monster or serial killer kinda way, but more like a "Crap, this can't be good" kinda way. That's what it feels like when the cancer doctor calls 2 years after he's dismissed you and requests an office visit ASAP. So I went. Now I have some updates to deal with. I'm going to try to stick to facts in this post in case someone wants to know what's going on. But I'm still scared.

I had genetic testing done, which 2 years ago did not indicate any links that increased my cancer risk. Now they have more info and have determined that I have a "deleterious mutation" that puts me at very high risk for breast cancer (sure enough) and a clinically significant risk for ovarian cancer (great). Pancreatic, colon and laryngeal cancer are also associated but not specifically linked.

Apparently since I opted for the double mastectomy I pretty much eliminated that problem. Whew. However ovarian cancer is a silent killer that now needs to be addressed. My doctor's recommendation is for surgical removal, not tomorrow but the sooner the better since risk increases exponentially with time. I meet with the gynecological oncologist/surgeon next Friday and will know more then. Meantime my imagination is running wild with thoughts of surgical pain, expense, menopause and loss.

There is also the unfortunate genetic lottery that I have passed on to my children. They have a 50% chance of carrying the same mutation and all three will have to be screened regularly starting at age 20. Sorry kids!

I'd ask for prayers, but I don't even know what to request at this point. Good stress management practices? ;-p