Love/Help

Many of you have asked for suggestions for help we may need as a family after my impending surgery. In fact, we have already gotten several thoughtful cards and emails and tons of prayers. My work colleagues at Memorial Home Care put together a fantastic care package including activity sets for the kids and an ergonomically correct “bed desk” with books and magazines and sweets for me. Yes, I’m hogging the chocolate. And several friends have already juggled kid care during medical appointments and so I could get some housework done. My book club women are coordinating some family meals – super easy heat-and-eat. (Scott’s great at a lot of things, but still calls me to figure out how to boil water.)

All the out-pouring of help reminds me of the lessons of the 5 love languages. For those of you who don’t know, that’s the theory that there are 5 essential ways that people express (and in return feel) love. They are (1) Physical touch, (2) Words of affirmation, (3) Quality time, (4) Gifts (receiving), and (5) Acts of service. Everyone has a primary love language. Learning this revolutionized my marriage – but we still have trouble speaking each other’s language sometimes. Scott speaks – literally – words of affirmation. Which is pretty much like Greek or Egyptian to me. (You want me to say what? About that? Every day?! Ummmm… ok.) I relate better to acts of service – so anything someone else offers to do (so I don’t have to) is especially thoughtful and well received. (This is where doing dishes can become foreplay.)

Thus we get stuck in the “help” suggestion department. I want to take offers of any help, like meals and household chores, because that makes me feel really valued and loved. Scott feels this is silly and will make people think he can’t handle stuff on his own. Of course he can get groceries and water the plants and vacuum, dress, feed, bathe and drop off/pick up the three kids, bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan… But I don’t think he has to do it all for me to know he loves me and is in control.

So… I guess any ideas you all have will be great, and we’ll have to tell Scott a lot how awesome his is and what a great job he’s doing holding down the fort. Any comments on his blog are good too. He especially likes to know who has read it and what you think. I expect he'll post more interesting stuff soon. I hear they have free wifi at Memorial Hospital.

Thanks for all your help! One day till surgery….