The whiny stuff:
- prickly hurt for a couple days
- bled through the dressings that have to be changed daily
- I'm still traumatized from last time I had to do the regular goop and gauze routine
- looking down, the right side looks bigger than the left
- the color is really weird, like someone put on orangy pancake makeup
The "this might end up ok" stuff:
- my chest doesn't seem to be uncomfortable this morning
- the bleeding finally stopped
- just looked at the photos taken during the process and the symmetry and color actually look ok (my perspective must be a little off)
My aunt, who had breast cancer in her 30s and is a psychologist, says I am still grieving the loss of a body part that was essential to my femininity. Now that the serious stuff is over, I feel more melancholy than a year ago when I was in the thick of it all. I'm thankful to be alive and healthy. I am still sad and depressed sometimes. Hmmm... I wonder if sharing my new "normal" body appearance with a bunch of affirming friends would be helpful... ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment