October 31 - Struggling with Sabbath - Part 3

After prayer, weighing our priorities and promises, we decided to start a family Sabbath. Here's what that means to me:

A 24 hour period in which

- we focus on God first, family second, friends & community third

- we avoid all the regular household chores that distract us (but still pick up after ourselves & eat)

- we avoid screen time (no computers or TV, limited social media)

- we try to spend time together creatively, with limited expenditures

- we plan ahead so the home maintenance, meal prep, bills & phone calls aren't hanging overhead

And then. We just. "Be".

For a little while.

Right. Then college football season launched. Maybe next month...

October 25 - Cuteness Responsibilities

Introducing: the newest family member! Patches Murphy Shafer

Because apparently 4 kids, a husband, a house with 3 acres, 2 jobs, 2 volunteer roles & 2 turtles left me entirely too much spare time! (grin)

October 19 - Cub Scout Family Camp

Skyler joined cub scouts! He's in 3rd grade, so he's a Bear Cub. Aww. Last weekend was the Fall Family campout, & Dale & I got to go along.

Frosty noses, yellow leaves, pumpkin carving, hikes, cooking over the fire, dump cake, camp songs ("Here we sit like birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness...") & tug of war against the bigger Boy Scouts (we won 9 out of 10 rounds!).

Skyler said best of all was the Fire Bowl Saturday night. With the magically lit jack o'lantern way, & many silly songs & skits, great leadership & lots of laughs.

I love that through this opportunity he has a group of community leader men as mentors, who model respect, preparation, kindness, honesty, reverence & about 8 other key points (I don't have to memorize 'cause I'm just the mom). We are so blessed!

October 18 - Struggling with Sabbath - Part 2

I was raised Seventh-day Adventist, & my father worked for the church most of my life. The Saturday Sabbath is one of their keystones, so I have some experience with the conservative version: sundown Fri to sundown Sat, no money exchanges hands, no secular entertainment (TV, music, games), no homework or chores. As a child, this was an annoyance at best. Kinda dorky to rename all the board games "Egypt to Canaan".

Then I went away to high school. While some of the restrictions were still pesky, I found a whole new level of peace in the mandatory day off. It was a spiritual discovery time of life, along with all the fun hormonal growth.

Then I married a disenchanted Adventist missionary kid. Getting caught up in the legalism & disappointments in fellow Christians, our family shifted away from Sabbath practice. It felt too "because I said so" & lost all meaning of reconnecting with God & family.

Fast forward through 15 years of "just life" - & I long for the peace & connection again. I find some semblance of guidelines & routines comforting. Perhaps in this new season, some of the centuries-old tradition makes more sense to me. Now, to figure out the logistics...

October 13 - Feeding Hungry Peeps

After a weird summer of being off kilter, with the kids gone & new family responsibilities & changing work schedules, I am so glad to be back in the swing of things. As we get our groove back, we're getting back to activities that make my heart happy.

Saturday we helped out at Feed the Children in Elkhart. As a group, we packed over 2000 boxes of food & personal care stuff. All 4 kids participated better than ever before, with 2 solid hours of sorting, packing & box crushing. And they were pretty smiley the whole time!

October 8 - Friday Happy Dance Party

Today was Seth's first ever official middle school dance party. I was actually shocked he was even interested in going, let alone willing to spend his own allowance to participate. We had to make an emergency Walmart run the night before to buy neon puffy paint markers & craft his own unique NEON dance shirt. Add glow stick neck & arm bands & Ta-dah! Not too bad, if I do say so myself. ;-)

I picked him up 2 hours later, all sweaty & smiling. Apparently a grand time was had by all. So to continue the theme, Dale hooked us up with a playlist, and we gathered the family around the campfire and danced the night away. Nothing like teaching 4 kids the Cupid Shuffle under the stars. Ah, memories!

Hope you all had great weekends too!

October 7 - Pink Ladies Club

Dale & I attended the 3rd Annual Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast cancer survivors' luncheon today in Mishawaka. It was a lovely affair, with festive flowers & pink balloons & loads of pretty door prizes. One of the local oncologists spoke briefly about his professional motivation. Several local leaders stated their support, and a sanguine survivor shared her moving & amusing tale.

So it was nice & inspirational & stuff but I find myself wondering why being there made me feel completely off kilter. In fairness, the night before D & I were out till 3AM (Muse is AMAZING!) & my work morning didn't go as smoothly as planned. Still, I sat at the edge of a crowd of women & family members who have made it through a journey similar to mine, & I felt completely out of place.

I don't think I'm part of the club. My breast cancer experience seems so minimal compared to other stories. I don't feel like "a survivor". Ladies cheer for each other and speak of the sisterhood we share, the immediate bond. I figure I'm just broken because I don't get it. Yes, I understand all the lingo. Yes, I'm interested in their stories. Yes, I can discuss surgery options and side effects. Yes, I've known several who have fought the good fight but still passed on.

But instead of feeling connected, I just get grumpy & sad. Even though pink is one of my favorite colors!

October 4 - Struggling with Sabbath - Part 1

Recently I finished AJ Jacobs' The Year of Living Biblically audiobook, and surprisingly it exceeded expectations on multiple levels. It was written by a witty Jewish agnostic journalist, in his quest to follow the Bible as literally as possible for an entire year. As in, not wearing clothing of mixed fibers (specifically wool & linen), being fruitful & multiplying (IVF justified), stoning adulterers (pebbles count).

"The resulting year was fascinating, entertaining and informative. It was equal parts irreverent and reverent. It was filled with surprising insights almost every day. (I know it’s not biblical to boast, so apologies for that)."

Through his experience, in conjunction with friend conversation & other reading, I have become more aware of spiritual disciplines and getting back in the flow with spiritual living. One place I felt would be good to start was reclaiming Sabbath in my family. Yeah, 'cause I didn't want it to be too easy apparently. Lots to unpack here, so I will separate this into a few postings for a)ease of reading and b) I might actually publish something.

So, the Sabbath is God's law, like one of the Big 10 before you even get to not killing off your neighbor and stuff. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. You have 6 days each week for your ordinary work, but the 7th day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. Exodus 20:8-10

Right. Anyone else notice the possibility for wide open interpretation? What does holy mean these days? Is that a Saturday, or is Tuesday ok? What if running a 5K or watching football is restful to me? Doesn't using electricity mean I'm making someone work & robbing them of the Sabbath experience? Does it count if I spend 1/7 of each day all week long resting & reconnecting with God?

My limited, legalistic human mind needs some boundaries. Not because I'm trying to tick off a checklist or earn my way to holiness, but because I want to be intentional. And I want to notice a difference in my real life. Now what?