February 26 - More thoughts on scars

Last night, Scott and I watched Mel Gibson's movie Apocalypto, which got me thinking more about this scar issue. The story is based around the Mayan civilization just before the Europeans enter the historical scene, and the visual images are striking.

Apparently, aside from jade teeth and multiple body piercings, tattooing and scarification were central to thoughts of beauty. My personal favorite was some un-named character with a checkerboard cross-hatched on his chest.

I'm thinking of developing my own tribal symbol. Maybe then my chest will look less "ow" and more "wow, what a rebel". I'm taking suggestions...

February 21 - Thoughts on scars

Scar tissue is cool because:

• it keeps your guts from falling out.
• it's like a badge of courage... aaargh!
• it prevents infection.
• it continues to mold to your skin tone and shape for the rest of your life.

Scar tissue is uncool because:

• it's bumpy and ugly and obvious in funny colors.
• it doesn't stretch very well.

OK. Cool wins. Any other thoughts on scars out there? What's your best scar story?

February 20 - Doctors get nervous too

Went to Dr. Shulman again yesterday. She says everything looks fine, but she doesn't want to advance anything for fear of re-visiting the experience from the last 4 months. And she's 95% sure the left implant can't escape and start to slide down my ribcage (which is what it feels like). Does anyone else think 95% may not be good enough with my track record?

Oh, and the spider veins are typical from the capsule formation or something. Great.

On a bright note, Scott says I look pretty normal in a bathing suit.

You Got the Power

I need your help. And rather than ask through the appropriate channels, such as my OWN blog, I thought I'd use this blog because it gets more traffic! Yes. That's how I roll.

I've recently decided to close down the car dealership. There were many contributing factors to this decision, but I'll only bore you with one of the biggies. I got into business to generate income. After 3 years, I generated a lot of income. Unfortunately, I generated a lot MORE outgo. So with much weeping and gnashing of teeth I'll be closing the doors at the end of this month.

However, with the help of some close friends, I've been starting to do some graphic design work again. There is plenty of potential for income without the liability and expense of owning a retail business. So, I am in the process of coming up with a good name for my business and that's where you come in. I'm not going to bore you with my list of 327 names. Mel and I went through the list and picked out our 6 favorites and figured we'd leave it up to a vote in the comment section.

Here goes:

1. Art Attack
2. Peace of Art
3. Ad Hawk
4. Art Rage
5. Living Proof
6. Me, My Mouse and Eye

I'm trying to reach the customer who doesn't want Cousin It to do their design, but they also don't want to pay an Ad Agency $150/hr either. I want it to be hip, relevant, today. Not precious, adorable and traditional.

Thanks for your help! I'll keep you posted on the response and what YOU end up choosing. Hopefully I like it. Otherwise I'll veto it and this will have been a total waste of your valuable time.

February 12 - Cool things

... now that the skin is closed:

1. I can get dressed without worrying about leaking through.
2. 10 minutes shaved off the AM/PM getting ready routine - hey, every minute counts!
3. I can wear a workout tank top without being paranoid that everyone will stare at the diamond-shaped patches on my uneven boobs. (Of course, they're still lopsided and football shaped, so I'm still convinced everyone is staring.)
4. Best of all, I can take my kids swimming anywhere - the "Y", Papa's hot tub, even the lake when it thaws. Yay!

February 7 - A week later...

And all is well - relatively speaking. The scar patches are continually peeling and reshaping, but nothing has opened up. (See smiley face for emotional implication.)

Of course, never easy to please, I'm annoyed at having spider veins on my chest. People who love me are quick to point out superficial, snaky purple lines are better than being dead from cancer. Yeah, whatever. Sometimes I'm just vain.

My last visit with Dr. Shulman lasted about 1 1/2 minutes. She walked in, said "yep, great... moisturize, moisturize, moisturize... see ya in two weeks." She recommended Crisco. Since I couldn't bring myself to buy a vat of grease, I made up my own skin care regimen. I call it "whatever was in my cupboard". Original, huh?

February 5 - Support Networks

My mom and sister have been visiting and recently returned to rainy southern California. They were fun to have around and a great help, especially since Scott was out of town for a week.

Mom and I had several frank discussions about breast shape, scar tissue and plastic surgery. I started to think more about her experience 5+ years ago. I think I wasn't nearly supportive enough. I guess I'm not naturally sympathetic and always figured "of course she'll be fine". She's my mom, she's indestructable.

But she didn't have many close friends - fewer then compared to now. She didn't have a job network of professional caregiver associates. Her dad was deceased and her mom had advanced Alzheimers. Her sisters were distant. She didn't have my dad at that point anymore, being recently divorced.

Thank God for Charlie, who was dating her when she was diagnosed. He has been her loving support ever since then. I'm thankful that he has become a part of all of our lives. I'm also thankful for all the wonderful care and help I have had through this whole process.

Thank God for all of you - for not making me go it alone.